Here in Alabama, sometimes there’s no telling what you’ll see.
Recently, I have been privy to strange, very strange occurrences, possibly signs of the Apocalypse.
Just yesterday as I was traveling through Orrville, I saw horse tied to a four-wheeler in the middle of downtown.
“What’s that horse doing tied to the back of that four-wheeler?” I queried.
Then a man hopped on, cranked it up, and started pulling the horse down the street. I passed by the spectacle and the man gave me a conciliatory wave and a smile, as if nothing was unusual.
Last week, I had to go to T-Mobile in Montgomery to get a new flip-phone. My old flip-phone was flipping out. So I had to buy a new one. As I was proudly waiting on the customer service representative to import my old contacts, I peered outside at the parking lot. A heavy-set woman in a low-cut shirt was pushing her child in a stroller into the store. She had another little young ‘un walking by her side. As she was trying to prop the stroller up on the curb, the stroller got stuck. So she pushed harder, rocked back and forth, trying to jar the stroller up onto the platform. I sat watching the whole thing. With that one last push, her right boob fell out of her blouse.
A few weeks ago, I was sitting alone in a restaurant in Jasper. I was eavesdropping on a conversation between two country boys across the room. As they were talking, one of their cell phones started ringing. It had a MULE ringtone.
Haw-see-haw-see-haw-see! the phone chimed as he answered it.
“Yello?” the man said. Pause. Listen.
“Well, did ye get the HAWG BOX straightened out? Yeah. Well. Mmm-hmm. Well is the WIRE NEKKID?” I hadn’t a clue what he was talking about.
A couple of days ago at the Hardee’s in Selma, a man came up to me and sat down at the bench behind me. I had never seen him before in my life.
“Hey,” he said.
“How ya doin,” I replied, gulping down my Monster Burger and fries.
“I’m ‘on go over here,” the man said, pointing outside.
“Ok, sounds good,” I said, dismissive.
“I love you,” he said in kind of a low grumble. “I’m going over here. I love you.”
I didn’t look up.
“I love you,” he echoed, a bit louder.
“You too,” I mustered.
With events like these, I’m wondering if the Mayans may have been correct.
Stay tuned for more News of the Strange in the near future.